We met in August 1993 at a Delta Gamma pledge function. Her bright red curly hair and contagious smile were hard to miss and I just knew that she would be a fun girl to hang out with. From that day forward, Kim and I (and several other girls in our sorority) put all of our energy into making the best of our college experience. What fun we had spending afternoons at the campus bar instead of studying for mid-terms, dressing up in costume to attend fraternity dances and singing Four Season's "Oh What A Night" at the top of our lungs til the wee hours of the night. Those were some great memories. Sadly, once we all graduated, we parted ways never to look back, but I often wondered what Kim and many of my other college friends were up to and how their lives shaped up.
Thirteen years later, in early 2009 as I was beginning to re-connect with old college friends on Facebook, I received an email from a sorority sister. The email was letting a group of us know that Kim was not well and needed our support. I couldn't believe it- I always thought we were invincible and how could any one of us be sick if we are still so young? Without hesitation and without knowing what was wrong with Kim, I reached out to her. We initially reconnected via email and it was as if time never lapsed from our college days. The difference now is that Kim is not well. In 2004, Kim was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and a few months later received the news that she was not a heart transplant candidate.
While most of our lives currently revolve around marriage, raising children, careers and paying our bills, Kim's life is about comfort and survival. Kim is not afraid to tell me the reality of what she's going through- she sleeps most hours of the day and is in constant pain. When she is awake and can muster up the energy to get out of bed, she must carry an oxygen tank wherever she goes. Did I mention that Kim is only 36 years old?
After months of emailing, Kim and I recently connected by phone. I'll never forget that first conversation where really, she was giving me a therapy session on how to deal with her dying. Amazingly, Kim is at peace with what her future holds and so it's really her friends and family who are left trying to figure out where she gets her strength and how to cope with her declining health. I remember telling her, "Kim, you sound normal- you don't sound sick." She replied with a chuckle, "What does sick sound like?" I am awestruck by her courage and her ability to put her own problems aside to ask how I'm doing. She's often reminding me that my problems are no less important than hers.
I could stop this blog entry here knowing that I gave you a really good idea of the amazing woman that Kim is, but there's more. Kim refuses to sit and let her illness overcome her- she just told me the other day, "there's a reason I'm still here." In 2006, after undergoing several surgical procedures and spending a lot of time recovering at Stanford University Medical Center, Kim felt the need to offer support to the many children she saw who were undergoing similar heart procedures. Soon thereafter, Kim and her close family & friends started
Angels For Hearts, a non-profit organization that provides pediatric heart patients with Christmas gifts. In 2009, Angels for Hearts received $15,000 in donations to buy gifts for local pediatric heart patients. In 2010, the goal is to raise $25,000 to bring smiles to the faces of very young heart patients at some of the top pediatric hospitals in CA to include, Lucile Packard Children's Hospital.
I'm a believer that whomever crosses my path has a lesson to teach me and in the short time that I've reconnected with Kim, I've learned about patience, courage, selflessness and strength. I encourage you to connect with an old friend or at the very least open your mind to the lessons that you can learn from those already near and dear to you. Life is too short.
